Everything in sight was like a blurred background. Sitting in front of the computer with a long list of ‘to dos, I felt lost, disempowered and my light very dim. I couldn’t seem to pick myself up and push forward no matter what I did, which is unusual for me. My patience was like thin glass, my emotions a rollercoaster and focus nowhere to be found. Talking with my friend who lost her 8 year old son three years ago, she told me I was grieving.
Life is real. Today is the first anniversary of my mom’s death and to be honest, I’m struggling. Losing our mother is a deeply personal and emotional experience that is different for each of us. In this season of having more years behind us than in front of us, if we are still blessed to have our parents at an older age, others around us are losing theirs. I’ve lost count of the friends who have lost a parent just in the past 5 years.
Losing a parent, child or other loved one dear to us is an experience that brings forth a whirlwind of emotions. Grief is a complex journey, unique to each individual, and when it comes to losing someone special, the emotions can be even more profound. The waves of grief may crash upon us unexpectedly, leaving us breathless and overwhelmed. It is important to understand that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and the emotions that arise are valid and deeply personal.
From the depths of sorrow to brief moments of peace require strength, patience, and self-compassion. Each wave of grief that crashes upon us holds within it a reflection of the love we shared with our dear one. It is through the lens of love that we can navigate this journey of grief, understanding that our emotions are a testament to the bond we shared and the immeasurable impact that person had on our lives.
Let’s look at some common emotions experienced after the loss of someone special along with biblical comfort and guidance during the grieving process. Allow the Word of God to speak to your heart to bring healing, peace, and hope as you navigate the emotions of loss and honor the memory of your beloved person.
- Grief: Overwhelming sadness and grief are common emotions after the death of a mother or someone special. You may experience a deep sense of loss, longing, and sorrow.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18 - Numbness: Initially, there might be a sense of emotional numbness or disbelief, as it takes time for the reality of the loss to sink in.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." - Psalm 147:3 - Anguish: Loss can evoke intense anguish and heartache. You may feel a profound sense of emptiness and yearning for your person's presence.
: "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." - Psalm 55:22 - Guilt: It's not uncommon to experience guilt after the death of a loved one. You might feel guilt about things left unsaid, unresolved issues, or regrets about not spending enough time together.
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." - Romans 8:1 - Loneliness: Losing a loved one can leave a significant void in one's life. You may feel a deep sense of loneliness and a longing for the connection, support, and nurturing you received from that person.
"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." - Psalm 145:18 - Anger: Grief can sometimes manifest as anger, and you may experience anger towards the circumstances of your person's death, towards others, or even towards yourself for not being able to prevent the loss.
: "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." - Ephesians 4:26 - Confusion: The death can bring about a sense of confusion and disorientation. You may struggle to make sense of your emotions and the changes that occur in your life after the person's passing.
"For God is not a God of confusion but of peace." - 1 Corinthians 14:33 - Regret: Regret is another common emotion that may arise. You might feel regret for things left unsaid, missed opportunities, or actions you wish you had taken while your loved one was alive.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 - Relief: In some situations, if your loved one was suffering from a prolonged illness or experiencing significant pain, there may be a mix of relief and guilt for feeling relieved that their suffering has ended.
: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." - Matthew 5:4 - Gratitude: Alongside the pain, you may also experience a sense of gratitude for the time you had with your person, the memories you shared, and the impact their presence had on your life.
: "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Despite the challenges of organizing my thoughts in a way that truly honors my mother, I want to share this heartfelt Facebook post with you:
“A year ago this past week you and I had just toasted yours & Dad's anniversary and a few days later enjoyed a lovely Mother's day brunch laughing and appreciating the little details as we always did. I remember our delight when discovering the bushes at my new house are lilacs, then had THE best conversation that filled my heart... suddenly a couple hours later you were gone.
Its been an emotional year of firsts. I miss all the special things we shared, how funny you were & your infectious laugh, your creative mind you passed along to me, and the elegant touches you just naturally knew how to do. I miss texting you tons of pictures & funny things, hearing you call me your silly, endearing nickname, and all the wonderful mom things about you. I love you and I miss you Mom. ❤️💔”
With the support and guidance of my dear friend, I have come to recognize the depths of my grief and understand the reasons behind my struggle to find inner strength. However, as the sun rises on a brand-new day tomorrow and a new season awaits, I am filled with a renewed determination to wholeheartedly embrace what lies ahead. I will fix my eyes on Jesus, the Source of my hope and purpose, as I go forward with intention. I am committed to running my race with unwavering devotion to honor God. With His grace and guidance, I am confident that I will find healing and a renewed sense of joy as I embrace what lies before me.
Proactive steps:
As we journey through our heartache, we must be gentle with ourselves and embrace the mixed emotions that arise. Allow yourself to feel the depths of sorrow and longing, knowing that it is a testament to the love that fills your heart. In your grief, take comfort in reflecting on memories that fill your soul with warmth. Cherish moments of laughter, affectionate moments that touched your heart, and the guidance that shaped you into the person you are today. Share these precious moments with others, allowing the beauty of your person's legacy to touch their hearts as well. Consider journaling these beloved encounters, preserving them as treasures that you can revisit whenever you need a reminder of the love and joy your loved one brought into your life. Please take a moment to leave a heartfelt comment below sharing how this blog post has touched and encouraged you. I cherish the opportunity for connection whether personally or another sister who relates to your comment. Together, let's create a warm and supportive community where we uplift and inspire one another. 
Join our welcoming community of Godly women over 50 who have experienced loss, grief, and the transformative process of moving forward. In this compassionate space, you will find comfort, understanding, and a sense of belonging among fellow sisters who can relate. Together, we will support and uplift one another while developing important meaningful connections on our own path of healing and rediscovering hope for the future. Join here
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